Friday, August 14, 2009

Jaded sticker........Oh the humanity

Jaded sticker........Oh the humanity?
Arrows take flight soaring with numbers in the millions But their targets destination is as shady as chameleon Dodging glances in the absence of motion with graceful ease Emanating an aurora almost as alarming as a hearty sneeze It is only logical to be emotional in a circumstance such as this Confessions being sobbed into silence is something that I miss Humbling a leviathan behemoth a serpent sleeps in deepest dark Prowling in my skull driven and relentless as a self eating shark Labeled with a jaded sticker that is clawed at but will not peal Seeking remedy a constant poet with wounds that do not heal Insanity is what others experience in their routine toils of the day Sanity is much worse I dare reason after analyzing what they say Only a "a bit weird" hmm I shall have to try harder next time = ]
Poetry - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
um, i dont actually understand ur poem...its a bit weird..no offense
2 :
I like it. I especially like playful stuff like "logical to be emotional," and the sticker metaphor. I also like the fact that you put a lot of long words here to good use, not throwing them in just because they "seem poetic" or something. I think it would be even better if it kept up, throughout, the wonderful (and complicated!) rhythm in the first two lines.
3 :
thank you m
4 :
I really think you should also try some lyrics, I think you would be good at them. Not weird just different, and different can be better. Thanks

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